One More Chapter
A twenty two year-old's view on life, death,
and Taylor Swift conspiracy theories
and Taylor Swift conspiracy theories
My appoligies to any of you who regularly read this blog. I realize that it has been over a month since my last post. And honestly, I'm a little concerned that i have the time to be writing in it right now. There must be something that I need to do, but for the past day I have been lacking on the urgent, needs-to-be-done-right-now-or-I'll-fail homework. Of course, there is always work to be done, but for the moment I've got some time. Which, again, feels wrong.
So here's the topic of today's post: College.
Or rather, why I'm slowly loosing my patience with it.
I was always that girl who was SO excited for college. I was looking forward to it from an extremely young age, planning where I would tour, what classes I would take, the kinds of people I would meet and the clubs I would join. I got good grades not only to please my parent and get into school, but also because I genuinely LIKED to learn and study. It was something that I had control over and it was something that just made sense. It was the natural order. We went to preschool to learn the social skills to survive Kindergarten where we learned the basics of human life so we could be prepared for elementary school where we were prepared for middle school which was meant to prep us for high school which was our way of getting ready for college which finally gets us ready to start our actual life.
That's not ridiculous at all, right? Well, it wasn't to me. It was the way things were.
You get good grades to get into a good college to get a good job.
What I didn't understand then was that I wasn't going to become a businesswoman or a computer scientist. I, at the time, wanted to be a mother-effing chef. That's right. A chef. A career where you don't even need to know what a conjunction is let alone be able to write a A+, ten page analysis on the juxtaposition of imagery in Walt Whitman's writing. And yet, I thought this was necessary. So I did.
Then I decided that I did NOT in fact want to work in the culinary industry, and while I still love food and cooking to this day, I am still set on never dedicating my life to working in someone else's kitchen. Perhaps one day, though I might open a cute cupcake shop or the first ever Paleo restaurant in New England. But that's for the day I have thousands of dollars and nothing to do with it.
So what was I going to do with my life? Make movies, duh.
A career that I thought I would need AMAZING grades to break into since many film schools are highly competitive and the industry is so cut throat. But what I've been slowly coming to realize is that it doesn't matter where you went to school or what you majored in, as long as you get out there, network and just do as much as possible in the industry. That's how you make it out in LA. You meet people, maintain connections and take every open door presented to you.
A fact even more embedded in me during my trip to LA. Most of the successful people we met just happen to 'stumble upon' their careers and ended up where they were because some random person offered them some random job and it all led them down the right path.
So, naturally I am left with a few lingering questions. Like, why the fuck am I breaking my back here at UMass when it doesn't even really matter? or, Shouldn't I be working on getting my career going instead of sitting around writing papers? or should I be doing more with my life? and the big one: Is college even worth it at this point?
Now, mom, dad, don't freak out. I'm not dropping out of college or anything. At least not at the moment. But what is so frightening is that I'm starting to question these things, especially when I've spent the past nineteen years thinking completely the opposite. I was the friend who her best friend that she wasn't a big supporter of her trip to Europe because it involved taking a semester off of college. Now I'm wishing I was over in LA actually doing something with my life. It's hard to network and meet all these people, who offer you opportunities and jobs, and then have to turn them all down and just hope that your connections remain while you spend another three years not doing anything.
Granted, I am trying to take every advantage I can, doing personal productions, student productions on campus, and learning as much as possible about my field. But in the long run you learn the most by going out there and taking jobs. Doing a small student film isn't going to take you very far. That's the sad reality.
But I know that if I don't complete my degree now (which I do actually want to do, contrary to what I seem to be saying here) I never will. So it's time to bunker down and get this shit done, and done well so that I can move on to bigger and better things. And all you children out there - be cool, stay in school.
It's all about learning to balance it all. I will continue to plan and maintain networks in LA while I'm in school on the East Coast. And in the mean time, this is the perfect opportunity to start getting work started so that once I've graduated and am really ready, I will have a jumping off point. I can spend this time writing, writing and writing some more.
I can spend it experiencing the world and becoming more cultured (since it's becoming more and more clear how uncultured I actually am). I will be visiting Europe come January for several months, then off to do an internship (hopefully) in NY or LA, then right off to New Zealand for some more studying abroad. So, hopefully it will all make for some pretty great script-writing.
Anyways, this has been a long a rambling post and I apologize for that.
Thank you for reading,
Song of the Day/Week/Month
Hung Up by Madonna (recently falling back in love with this song.)
About This Blog:
I started this blog as a way to challenge myself to write more over the 2014 year, but it has blossomed into so much more than that. I use it to let people in on what's happening in my life, talk about things I find important and to spread the news about amazing people, places and art.